Edibles

Strawberries ripe for tonight's dinner salad.

In 2022 bare roots of Albion, Chandler, Seascape and Sequoia were planted along the west fence.  Those purchased from Harmony Farm Supply and Nursery did the worst, some withering and dying before they fully leafed out. When I attempted to get a refund, it was refused since I did not bring the dead plants. Well, I now avoid shopping at what use to be my "go to place". 

At the North most destination along the brick abutting the shed two bare root Boyne (Rubus idaeus) Summer bearing raspberry were planted. Red raspberries are one of my very favorite berries to pick and eat immediately. Eventually the two bushes will produce enough to make jam.  

Then on the North side of the shed two bare root Rubus (subgenus Rubus Watson) ‘Black Satin’ Thornless were planted. They are thriving with many baby blackberries noticeable on the bushes now.

Since I and the hummingbirds love the bright red flowers of the Scarlett runner beans, seeds from last years' crop were dried. A few weeks ago the stunningly beautiful seeds were planted. The first leaves now adorn the plant. Unfortunately some BEing is munching on the leaves. Oh well, "they have to eat too" is my mantra.

Pink Pearl apple tree had many flowers which then developed into many teeny, tiny apples. Since the tree is young, all but a few apples were left on the tree to grow to their normal size. This is the apple I use to pink applesauce since the flesh is marbled pink in color . . . hence the name.

Cascadia peas are twining their way up the wire support. With this particular variety of peas the pods can be harvested OR they can be left to develop peas inside. The pods are great in salads or sautéed. I can hardly wait to begin picking peas! Many of the peas rarely see the inside of the house as I love to shell and eat them immediately after picking.

The raised bed was planted a few days ago with the lettuce. The seeds were started on April 09 in a Todd planter. This particular seed package contains seeds from every lettuce Wild Garden Seed grows. The diversity is stunningly beautiful to behold: there is head lettuce as well as red, green and oak lettuce, loose leaf lettuce. So when I scatter the seeds onto the Todd planter I am never sure what exactly will sprout. I love this kind of surprise! 

'Wild Garden Lettuce Mix' 
purchased from Wild Garden Seed.

 

Friday Three Sisters (beans, corn, melon instead of squash) were planted in three circles. When the sun is shining, this particular spot in the backyard receives full sun most all day. The Three Sisters thrive on the warmth of the sun. Radish seeds, to deter insects, were also scattered about. About an inch of soil mixed with chicken manure covered the seeds. Soil amendments was generously applied as well. Once the task was completed, remay was secured to prevent the pesky squirrels from digging in the moist soil.

Rhubarb

Rhubarb is a must have plant for Midwest girl. Luckily this plant resided in the backyard when we purchased this house some two years ago. I cook three or four stalks with just enough organic maple sugar to sweeten. This warm sauce I then pour over my organic blue corn meal pancake for a delicious breakfast!

The edible garden created here on Page Street is providing much food for both the human and canine who lives here. As I tweak the garden so it is "more perfect" (the albatross for a One on the Enneagram), I thoroughly enjoy the process and

Rocks

Within the circles of our lives

we dance the circles of the years,

the circle of the seasons

within the circles of the years,

the cycles of the moon

within the circles of season,

the circles of our reasons

within the cycles of the moon.

Again, again we come and go,

changed, changing Hands

join, unjoin in love and fear,

grief and joy. The circles turn,

each giving into each, into all

Only music keeps us here.

each by all the others held

In the hold of hands and eyes

we turn in pairs, that joining

joining each to all again.

And then we turn aside, alone,

out of the sunlight gone

into the darker circles of return.

WENDELL BERRY

In the tradition of my mother I collect rocks. These rocks come from places I visit or in the case of Santa Fe, New Mexico, where I lived for a short while . . . something like an extended vacation of 4 1/2 years. I have no idea why rocks draw me other than I watched my mother pick up rocks from various places. She took them home with her, often in her suitcase. Her rock pile grew, grew and grew. I often wonder what happened to that huge pile of rocks?

This rock came from Butterfly Beach
in Santa Barbara, California.
A man in Sonoma County 
cut the enneagram symbol.

The pebbles that created the "walkways" in
the backyard of the home Dwight and I
bought in Santa Fe, I raked from the entire
backyard. The bigger rocks lining this 
walkway came from the Santa Fe 
River. The river was without most of the
year so finding just the right rocks was
easy. Bringing them to the backyard
was done by loading them in the car trunk.

Tufted evening primrose in bloom
in front of a water catchment
filled with rocks that were on
the property. 
It grows throughout the West
in sunny, dry, infertile, rocky,
well-drained soils.
Apparently before San Felipe
Circle was built and filled
with Stamm homes, the area
was covered with this lovely plant
that is larva food 
for hawk moths.

This stunning heart shaped rock
came from the Santa River bed.
Dwight carried it home to me
for an anniversary present.

Another water catchment,
beneath a rain spout
in the back of the house,
is filled with rocks
that were on the property.

The rain chain was Christmas gift that Dwight bought me from a nursery in Santa Fe not far from our Stamm home. It now hangs above the green flat bowl that Dwight created. It is pictured below filled with rocks I found in the dirt here in Cotati as I established my native plant garden.

The view of the Santa Fe house from the middle
of the street. Waving around the entire front
and side yards are rocks
that were already on the property.

The rockslide to the West of Mono Lake
is where the below rock was found.
It now sits on my back patio in Cotati.

This is a collection of heart shaped rocks 
from various places visited.
They are on a narrow shelf
beneath the bureau mirror in my bedroom.

I love collecting rocks as you can attest from viewing this blog post. Truly I am my mother's daughter as I follow in her footsteps of her love of rock collecting.

This day is gloomy with intermittent rain. Rain has been falling off and on now for a week with more predicted this upcoming week. The reservoirs state wide are filling which is excellent since many have not been full for some while. May each of us, in spite of whatever kind of weather is happening wherever we are, 

Dwight

"Dwight", the recently planted Meyers Lemon Tree.
Dwight so wanted a tree of our own
that would produce delicious, juicy lemons.
Tanis' gardener procured this healthy, already heavy with a
dozen or more green lemons, tree for me to plant.
I planted it in the front yard. Dwight could see it from
his big blue chair in which he sat during his
waking hours.

This Sunday past we had a gathering in Delano Park across the street from my house. We came together for a Celebration of Life, Dwight's life, that ended on July 17, 2022, at 0655. His lungs failed from the effects of living with parents who smoked as well as his first wife. The entire time I knew Dwight his lungs had been an issue but it was not until March of this year the pulmonary function tests identify both COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) and emphysema. Within 6 weeks his ability to take his regular everyday 2 mile walk with Shasta deteriorated into first a mile then a half mile. The first two weeks of May he was hospitalized for blood clots in his two lower lobes of his lungs and pneumonia in an upper lobe.

Luckily being a retired registered nurse I had the knowledge and skill to care for Dwight here at 35 Page Street. I did so right up to his taking his last breathe. In the early morning hours I called Katie and Michael in San Francisco. They arrived around 2 a.m. and stayed until Dwight's body was taken to Parent-Sorensen Crematory in Petaluma. Leigh had done a stellar job of researching the very best one. I thank her for that from the bottom of my heart. Everyone I came in contact with were ever so kind, gentle and concerned about me.

I believe caring for Dwight and enduring his death has been/is the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. I am so fortunate to have dear friends who are supporting me as well as Katie and Leigh who are both grieving the loss of their dad. So as a way to honor their dad and support their process they planned and executed a wonderful Celebration of Life. Some 20+ friends and family were in attendance sharing their stories of Dwight. My opening is below:

Flowers my cousin Shelley 
brought from her garden.

"35 years ago this coming Thanksgiving I met Dwight. HIs friend, Judy (thank you! Judy) invited Dwight to my friend Helen’s home for Thanksgiving dinner which was timed for after I got off work at 3:30.

Dwight and I seemed to instantly connect. Dwight had recently left his wife which was a red flag. He was just beginning to adjust to a single life while I had been living singularly for over 17 years. 

Dwight was committed to providing a home for his youngest daughter Leigh who came to live with him. He often spoke of “not throwing the baby out with the bathwater.”

We found a way forward and once we took Leigh to college in Oregon we began living together . . . splitting our time between my place in Sebastopol and a flat we rented in the San Francisco Mission District. Eventually as many of you know we bought a place South of Sebastopol on Hessel Avenue. We lived there for almost 25 years before relocating to Santa Fe, New Mexico. Dwight LOVED living in this city with the same world class entertainment as San Francisco.

Alas, my body did not like the some 7000’ elevation. So once again we packed up all our belongings returning once again to Sonoma County. We bought our home in Cotati. I am so happy we had pretty much settled in before Dwight was hospitalized in early May for two weeks.

Soon after returning home midMay his lungs began showing signs of failing. Growing up with parents who smoked as well as his first wife he was diagnosed with COPD and emphysema this past March. 

I felt so fortunate to have the knowledge and skills to care for him at home. His last two months were a gift of time . . . there was just him, me and Shasta. We had the opportunity to connect in a way previously impeded by our busyness of making 35 Page Street our home. AND now this house feels fo empty without Dwight. The pervasive fog wrapping in and around me is throughly protective right now.

Thank you! each and everyone of you who have come to celebrate Dwight’s life."

Dwight's ashes sit atop the
cupboard of sorts that holds
the television. When my ashes
are ready to join his, they will
be scattered around a large 
Cottonwood tree on Test Station
Road which runs along the West side 
of Mono Lake.
Dwight gave both Katie and Leigh
clear directions using google maps.

People knowing Dwight in his various parts of his life who shared their experience(s) of Dwight was so wonderful and heartwarming. The common thread was how he was so present and listened not fearful of discussing any topic the speaker brought up with him. Like me, Dwight was a One on the Enneagram and our "virtue" is serenity which Dwight exemplified throughout his life BEing a "perfect" One.

I am hopeful once this protective fog lifts, I can begin the grieving process with an often emotional releasing belly 

What If . . . ?

“What if” we BEings are more than the physical vessel we believe we see with our naked eye?

“What if” we BEings are made up more of subtle energy than physical matter much like what is represented by the spider (physical vessel) and web (subtle energy)? 

I recently heard that the ratio of energy to matter in living BEings is 90%:10% which caused me to pause and reflect. Back in the late ’80’s when I moved to Sonoma County after wandering the country in search of the “perfect job” I embarked upon a path of healing and self cultivation. As I began on this path I was introduced to the Enneagram, a dynamic map (“the map is not the territory” a soul sister voiced) of both the personality AND of higher states of BEing. I was intrigued that others saw the world differently and likewise reacted in other ways from myself. I thought to myself, “if others can see the world differently than me, I can learn to see differently too.” 

We Ones of the Enneagram are all about perfecting oneself which can be annoying to the other eight types and yet serves me well in the process of waking up from habitual behaviors learned in infancy and childhood.  While sitting a recent morning past while gazing at the beach rock engraved with the Enneagram symbol, a thought arose, “What if the opening in the bottom of the Enneagram diagram allows for the flow of Tao, aka qi/Life Force, which then splinters into 9 narrow and quite different fragments of reality?” 

Thus the Enneagram diagram illustrates that each of the nine types numbered One through Nine sees, experiences and feels a different slice of reality as though each type wears glass lenses of distinct color within the full spectrum of color representing reality, much like the opening in the bottom (all that is "real" or reality) splinters into narrow views of reality represented by the nine points around the circle. 

Recently my awareness has been shifting to seeing and feeling energy which is allowing me to recognize that energy flows within and around me. This process is affording me awareness of the connections to, not only the Tao, but all sentient BEings as well. As we live in a world of rapidly increasing human manufactured energy, aka electromagnetic fields (EMFs), how does that “static” interfere with our own individual BEing? And what disruption does more and more EMFs cause in our ability to connect or “bind together” (as in the Latin origin of the word: con - together and nectere - bind)?

Recently, while staying in a small house with solar panels atop the roof, I became aware of the splintering of/holes in my energy field. My late brother would say my energy field was "wonky." I could not connect with the beauty that I felt in my body or visually saw around me; nor could I stand still in the Standing Crane qi gong pose, one of my usual morning poses which I typically can maintain for some while. An ah-ha occurred when I noted the solar panels
above our living space. I have previously known viscerally that solar panels are not a beneficial way of generating electricity for the ever growing number of humans, most of whom have no idea about simplicity nor “what is enough.” Of course, there is the response, “the earth generates EMFs,” to which a counter response may be that all sentients BEings evolving here on Planet Earth have done so in the presence of her electrical field. The human generated EMFs are now occurring in massive amounts to accommodate the out of control appetites of our overpopulated planet.

So, “what if” the human created EMFs disrupt homeostasis not only of humans but all sentient BEings. We know from research that those humans living near electrical transformers have an increase of rare and unusual cancers. “What if” this is the end result of chronic interference with those humans' homeostases which are not maintained by physiological processes as we have been told, but rather by subtle energy processes?

Can you feel the energy and physical matrix
of Golden Currant (Ribes aurum) now beginning to
flower here at MuRefuge?

Or within the California Pipevine (Aristolochia californica)
also beginning to flower and leaf out here at MuRefuge?

For me the anthropocene worldview is nothing short of terrifying! Edward O. Wilson described this worldview in his glossary of Half-Earth: Our Planet’s Fight for Life (2016) as “applied to nature, the belief that all life should be henceforth valuated primarily or even solely for its importance to human welfare. In its extreme form, the worldview envisions future Earth as entirely enveloped and engineered by humans.” “What if” the widening chasm in our Congress is merely a microcosm of the widening schism between those viewing Nature with all of her magnificent subtle energy as the most valued force on Mother Earth versus “science” which believes and acts as though it can do better than Nature, or at the very least, create what she has created.

A revealing happening at the latest Heirloom Festival, held annually usually in August in Santa Rosa, California, at the Sonoma County Fairgrounds, was a representative from agribusiness interviewing attendees about their preference for heirloom tomatoes to tomatoes created by this industry. YIKES! Humans think they can create something as good as or better than what has evolved without “splicing and dicing” as the saying goes?

Also in Wilson’s glossary: “Anthropocene: The proposed name for a new geological epoch in which the entire global environment has been altered by humanity.”

“What if” this comes to fruition? It seems to me we are well on our way. And if we continue on this path then of course we are participating in our own extinction. 

“What if” rather each human wakes up, is conscious and connects with Tao both within and without? Could we then avoid the Sixth Extinction?

As we each ponder this, may we 

Our Rose, an incredible lightness of BEing

Rose                          

November 01, 2008 to July 20, 2012

“Some people (BEings), sweet and attractive,

and strong and healthy, happen to die young.

They are masters in disguise

teaching us about impermanence.”

Dali Lama

Rose joyfully embraced every 

moment of her life, right up to

the very last moment when she released

her will to join the Eternal Tao.

We have been blessed to

participate in her brief yet wonderful 

journey through this life.

We found each other on a bright, warm sunny day in late November, 2008, and brought Rose to MuRefuge midDecember in time for Dwight’s 70th birthday celebration.  People often ask if we “rescued” her? Rose says, “I was not rescued.  We found each other to form a pack of three.” And what a fierce protector of her pack! Yet she was more than willing to expand her pack . . . Auntie T, Auntie Fang, Dwight’s daughters and their husbands, Vickie, 

Meditating weeding

Coco and her grandparents, Splash and his foster parents, even a cat lover, Petra, who says she has never been greeted with such exuberance as Rose.  Her exceptionally joyous spirit was evident to anyone in her presence.  She was not one to hold a grudge nor want any pity.  "No way Jose" was her response.

In Spring, 2011, Rose became gimpy and within several months an osteosarcoma was diagnosed; subsequently her left rear leg was amputated.  Moments after the surgery she was off the operating table and ready to come home.  She found the allopathic drugs blocked her ability to find her own healing rhythm.  Rose had a extraordinarily gifted inner species communicator, Sandy Lagno, who could relay her process which was, I found, validating of my intuitions.  Her miraculous recovery astonished everyone who came in contact with her.

Rose running along the West side of Mono Lake
November, 2011

Around the Chinese New Year Rose showed subtle signs all was not okay in her hind quarters.  She went into shock as though she had just had her leg amputated and was surprised she had only three legs.  She withdrew and her Work in the physical form began in earnest.  Her process of coming out of the wild into a human world was demonstrated by growling and bearing her teeth, snapping and biting if Dwight or I did not back off.  In the wild when an animal is sick or injured, the pack drives the animal out or kills it outright.  Rose was fighting for her place in her pack and did not want to be driven out.  The dance between this wildness and her gentle, soft BEing continued right up to when she left her body.  She would growl and snap then want to kiss us.

In June it became evident that she had a tumor in her right leg which, of course,

the humans, i.e. veterinarians, wanted to x-ray.  When we checked in to get Rose’s permission, she asked, “Do humans need the information?”  No x-rays were done, but an aspirant was done revealing abnormal cells.  Rose looked at me, “Just take me home!”

Feeling the undulating waves of Mother earth

The wild/domesticated dance continued.  Rose ate less and less, but drank water right up to her death.  Of course, we checked in with her about euthanasia.  Like any Seven (an Enneagram designation), she wanted to keep it as an option, initially in the middle of the table and as time passed she pushed it further and further back, until a week or so before she joined the Eternal Tao she said, “I don’t want to be pushed out.”

Keeping the doorway open for Rose

Honoring Rose and her process was my focus from the outset.  Rose was my last Siberian Husky, Sun, reincarnated.  I had Sun euthanized before she was ready.  She, her spirit, hung around for a year.

Each animal, sentient BEing, is unique with her own path for her journey.  Allowing is my lesson and the dying rhythm of Star and Rose has brought to the fore for me that BEing in the present for the letting go of will and flowing with “the bigger movement,” aka Tao, takes an enormous amount of energy.  And participating in both of their dying rhythms, I am recovering from our culture's tightly held beliefs about pain and suffering.  Rose liked to use the word "discomfort" because that word is not so charged as "pain."  She found her discomfort "grounding" and a tool for completing her Work.  Suffering was not even on her radar, so to speak.  

During Star's last months with
us I saw this in Inqiring Minds
and realized Star was living
exactly like this equation . . .
no resistance to her life
process thus no suffering.

Dwight found this in a later issue of Inquiring Mind
speaking to him about pain and suffering.

What We Can Learn about Ourselves from Observing Our Transplants

Having lived in many different places without BE-ing rooted I have come to realize that incessant moving about prevents BE-ing rooted and requires a rather unconscious state of mind. I remember when I was an Assistant Professor at the University of Arizona's College of Nursing teaching about Selye's model of stress and the consequences of major life changes on one's health, I was very cavalier about my good health not being affected by my many moves and unfortunate work experiences. I rather saw myself in a constant state like these vibrant and healthy starts in my greenhouse in spite of my workaholic nature. I was a vegetarian, ran 40 miles a week, swam a couple of times a week, hiked in nature to enjoy the beauty and peacefulness of the desert and mountains. Sasha and Tatiana (Siberian Huskies) were my wonderful companions in many of these activities.

More transplanting of myself ensued to locations less and less hospitable. With each move I found myself dipping into the well of pioneer woman to continue working. Finally I arrived in Sonoma County with the well close to dry and me wilted just like these transplants in my greenhouse. A change, big change, was in order. Maybe making choices more consciously? Considering the consequences of my choices?

Finding a home, like these seedling trays that essentially eliminate transplant shock, where I could be comfortable seemed like an appropriate place to start. Done. And both Sasha and Tatiana seemed really happy living in the country, with a morning run on country roads and an occasional chasing of skunks or a feral cat. The expansive views seemed to feed me.

Then my long dead grandmother visited saying, "Do the hard work while you can or you'll have to do it on your death bed." Well, that was a wake up call!

How to be conscious? Becoming aware of habits learned seemed like the next step. An introduction to the Enneagram (a map for the emotional, psychological, spiritual AND for how to tell the difference between unconscious/learned habits and conscious BE-ing) was a blessing. I discovered my point of view and perception of the world as well as others' points of view and ways of perceiving. Ah ha, "everyone doesn't think like I do," so maybe, just maybe I can be more open.

This process of being more open, opens doors heretofore closed. For me this "allowing" brings to me consciousness, seeing what previously was hidden. One of these wonderful gifts came in the form of a nearby organization, the Flower Essence Society located in Nevada City, CA.

http://www.fesflowers.com/

Their Five-Flower Formula, aka Bach Flower Remedy Rescue, is a combination flower essence from five flowers: Cherry Plum, Clematis, Impatiens, Rock Rose and Star of Bethlehem. This wonderful elixir provides the opportunity for "calmness and stability in any emergency or time of high stress" for any sentient BE-ing.

To mitigate transplant shock, I find this remedy works well diluted 4 drops/1 ounce of spring water, shaking then add 8 drops of brandy, again shaking, Using this preparation in a spray bottle is a lovely way to support these tiny starts adjusting to their new home, the seedling trays.

So I have learned that transplantation, whether of ourselves or plants, produces evidence of shock IF we observe. BE-ing conscious in the uprooting and rerooting, we each can minimize the degree of the shock and the consequential reverberations. My plants provide me wisdom. I only have to observe and BE conscious.

Please share your experiences in the comment section.