We found each other on a bright, warm sunny day in late November, 2008, and brought Rose to MuRefuge midDecember in time for Dwight’s 70th birthday celebration. People often ask if we “rescued” her? Rose says, “I was not rescued. We found each other to form a pack of three.” And what a fierce protector of her pack! Yet she was more than willing to expand her pack . . . Auntie T, Auntie Fang, Dwight’s daughters and their husbands, Vickie,
Coco and her grandparents, Splash and his foster parents, even a cat lover, Petra, who says she has never been greeted with such exuberance as Rose. Her exceptionally joyous spirit was evident to anyone in her presence. She was not one to hold a grudge nor want any pity. "No way Jose" was her response.
In Spring, 2011, Rose became gimpy and within several months an osteosarcoma was diagnosed; subsequently her left rear leg was amputated. Moments after the surgery she was off the operating table and ready to come home. She found the allopathic drugs blocked her ability to find her own healing rhythm. Rose had a extraordinarily gifted inner species communicator, Sandy Lagno, who could relay her process which was, I found, validating of my intuitions. Her miraculous recovery astonished everyone who came in contact with her.
|Rose running along the West side of Mono Lake|
Around the Chinese New Year Rose showed subtle signs all was not okay in her hind quarters. She went into shock as though she had just had her leg amputated and was surprised she had only three legs. She withdrew and her Work in the physical form began in earnest. Her process of coming out of the wild into a human world was demonstrated by growling and bearing her teeth, snapping and biting if Dwight or I did not back off. In the wild when an animal is sick or injured, the pack drives the animal out or kills it outright. Rose was fighting for her place in her pack and did not want to be driven out. The dance between this wildness and her gentle, soft BEing continued right up to when she left her body. She would growl and snap then want to kiss us.
In June it became evident that she had a tumor in her right leg which, of course,
the humans, i.e. veterinarians, wanted to x-ray. When we checked in to get Rose’s permission, she asked, “Do humans need the information?” No x-rays were done, but an aspirant was done revealing abnormal cells. Rose looked at me, “Just take me home!”
|Feeling the undulating waves of Mother earth|
The wild/domesticated dance continued. Rose ate less and less, but drank water right up to her death. Of course, we checked in with her about euthanasia. Like any Seven (an Enneagram designation), she wanted to keep it as an option, initially in the middle of the table and as time passed she pushed it further and further back, until a week or so before she joined the Eternal Tao she said, “I don’t want to be pushed out.”
|Keeping the doorway open for Rose|
Honoring Rose and her process was my focus from the outset. Rose was my last Siberian Husky, Sun, reincarnated. I had Sun euthanized before she was ready. She, her spirit, hung around for a year.
Each animal, sentient BEing, is unique with her own path for her journey. Allowing is my lesson and the dying rhythm of Star and Rose has brought to the fore for me that BEing in the present for the letting go of will and flowing with “the bigger movement,” aka Tao, takes an enormous amount of energy. And participating in both of their dying rhythms, I am recovering from our culture's tightly held beliefs about pain and suffering. Rose liked to use the word "discomfort" because that word is not so charged as "pain." She found her discomfort "grounding" and a tool for completing her Work. Suffering was not even on her radar, so to speak.
|During Star's last months with|
us I saw this in Inqiring Minds
and realized Star was living
exactly like this equation . . .
no resistance to her life
process thus no suffering.
|Dwight found this in a later issue of Inquiring Mind|
speaking to him about pain and suffering.