Welcoming 2021

As I ready myself for welcoming 2021, I have received several emails from trusted woman whom I deeply respect. Rather than reworking what they have each so eloquently written, I am posting their messages unaltered . . . for your deep consideration as we are about to exit the most difficult year for everyone living on Planet Earth. I trust each of you will find something poignant and meaningful in both of these communique.

Dwight in the parking lot  of the Upaya Zen Center donating his Mu sculpture for their Prajna Mountain Forest Refuge. We are delighted that Roshi Joan Halifax accepted this sculpture that Dwight created for  MuRefuge, Sebastopol, California. A good friend of mine said, "You are married to sorrow." And I looked at him and said, "I am not married to sorrow. I just choose not to look away." And I think there is deep beauty in not averting our gaze. No matter how hard it is, no matter how heartbreaking it can be. It is about presence. It is about bearing witness. I used to think bearing witness was a passive act. I don't believe that anymore. I think that when we are present, when we bear witness, when we do not divert our gaze, something is revealed—the very marrow of life. We change. A transformation occurs. Our consciousness shifts.      —Terry Tempest Williams   On this last fullmoon of the year, we reflect that this has been a year like no other, a year few of us could have ever imagined… a year of loss, a year of uncertainty, a year of adapting… or not. Today, some billions of people around the world are under lock-down, more people than were alive during World War II. Most governments have told us to reduce our lives to the smallest social unit: the household. When we leave our homes, when we go out to pick up groceries or mail a package, we stay six feet apart from everyone else. Someone wrote that we are like magnets with reversed polarities, sliding off pavements onto roads, around cars; anything to avoid being close to others.    We are social animals. Our evolution is built upon the ability to communicate and cooperate, not just through words but also through body language, physical contact, and intimacy. The effects of this year on every single one of us will extend far beyond the change in current everyday behaviors. And the effects of this pandemic on health care providers and our medical system will be felt far into the future.    Yes, this year has been a crisis of the heart and mind that goes right to the core of how we live as social beings, how we deal with fear and loss, and how we die, and how we serve.    In the midst of all this, one has to ask: How are we doing? What are we learning? How have we resourced ourselves in this midst of lockdown or the high demands and stress of caregiving? What have we taken refuge in? How are we dealing with the many losses we are experiencing now, including the massive loss of human life at this time? What is loss and radical uncertainty teaching us? How have we served others? What does it mean to live by vow in this time of great suffering?   I look at our practice at Upaya as finding (and fumbling) our way into the eye of a storm. When we sit in our zendo, we find our posture...still, upright, steadfast. We try to do things precisely and gently. We endeavor to do things together and with each other and for each other. We struggle, fail, and hopefully learn.   And we remind each other that things could get worse before they get better and to trust that we can move through sorrow and fear toward a life that is characterized by thriving, if we meet our suffering with patience and curiosity. And we have to keep in mind that this is not easy……..    In her novel “Regeneration,” Pat Barker writes of a doctor who 'knew only too well how often the early stages of change or cure may mimic deterioration. Cut a chrysalis open, and you will find a rotting caterpillar. …No, the process of transformation consists almost entirely of decay.” We would agree… a year of decay…. but also possibility….   We have seen vividly that loss is a natural part of life, as is fear. If we are able to see that loss can teach us and fear can reveal our edges and priorities, we can begin to understand that grief and fear are part of a natural process of transformation, and more so now, as we face these strange and terrible times.   And we have to remind each other that no matter what we do, it does not mean that our lives will go back to how they were before, and also that working through grief and fear, we can be vastly transformed through our experience of facing our suffering.   Kentucky poet Wendell Berry describes the sycamore not far from his house: Fences have been tied to it, nails driven into it, hacks and whittles cut in it, the lightning has burned it. There is no year it has flourished in that has not harmed it. . . . It has risen to a strange perfection in the warp and bending of its long growth. It has gathered all accidents into its purpose. It has become the intention and radiance of its dark fate.   What does it mean to gather all accidents into our purpose and become the intention and radiance of our dark fate? We must remind each other that people who have survived great loss, great harm can come back transformed by the experience, and see that their suffering has made them more resilient rather than more fragile, with the ability to thrive in the present rather than being overwhelmed by the past. Beyond the ending of the old way of life, there is hope for the emergence of the new, and we can imagine a future in which our wounds are still there, but in a form that both reconnects us and makes us wiser and humbler.    We are reminded of Nelson Mandela, Malala, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and so many others who have encountered violence, sickness, incarceration, loss, and more…………. They thrived and have inspired others to thrive.....meaning growth, radiance, beyond survival. This includes the blessing of humility, a deeper relationship with others, the anticipation of new and braver possibilities in the future, the nourishment of moral character, a profound sense of spiritual transformation, and a greater appreciation for life.   Maya Angelou once wrote “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive…………” Now and in this coming year, may we have the causes and conditions, as well as the courage and wisdom to thrive, serve, and to lean into the light in the midst of what we are facing today.   No culture has yet solved the dilemma each has faced with the growth of a conscious mind: how to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in all life, when one finds darkness not only in one's own culture, but within oneself.  If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts the responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.   —Barry Lopez (January 6, 1945 – December 25, 2020), from Arctic Dreams   Two hands together, Rev. Joan Jiko Halifax Abbot, Upaya Zen Center Santa Fe, NM The Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi off the downtown Plaza in Santa Fe, NM in the very early morning light during this holiday season.

My New Year’s Wish, Prayer, Blessing, and Resolution:

May the isolation, fear and loss we have suffered in this past year

make us more appreciative of our friends, loved ones, and coworkers,

and more aware of how vitally we need community.

May the callousness, irresponsibility and corruption 

we have seen in power holders, make us

appreciate the value of truth, integrity, and caring 

in our leaders.

May the barrage of lies, disinformation 

and conspiracy theories that flood the internet 

inspire us to hone our critical thinking 

and strengthen our capacity for good judgement.

May the injustices we have witnessed and suffered

deepen our commitment 

to dismantle systems of oppression.

May the fires, floods, hurricanes and disasters 

of this last year 

make us more aware

that we are subject to nature's laws, 

and more determined to bring us into balance.

May this coming year be a turning point -

toward a world of more compassion, more caring,

more sharing, more integrity, more courage, more health,

more regeneration, and more joy 

in being agents of justice and renewal.

Starhawk, 10:52am, 12/30/2020

As we let go of all that 2020 bestowed upon us, may we avoid BEing victims and celebrate all that is possible in 2021. Actually, "celebrate what's right" as our friend Dewitt Jones offers this profound message for viewing our world to each and every one of us.

Welcoming this new year is like no other welcoming of another new year. 2021 holds immense possibilities, opportunities, adventures, renewed friendships and reconnecting with family as the pandemic loosens its grasp on all of us. All of us here are looking forward to welcoming 2021. In March we will be biding farewell to our Stamm home in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and begin rerooting back in Sonoma County, California. 

As we welcome 2021 may each and everyone of us